there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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