ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
