A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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