he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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