hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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