sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
