You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
