Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."

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(705): View more from Ontario

Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.

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(903): View more from Texas

I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.

(214): View more from Texas

It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.

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(619): View more from California

Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.

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(205): View more from Alabama

She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.

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(559): View more from California

Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.

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(123): View more from

I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live

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