i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
