You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize