She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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