u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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