I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
