He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
