am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
