did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
