She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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