I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
