I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
