It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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