imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
how do you play pong handcuffed?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I would ride that face into the sunset
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
