you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize