hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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