So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
