is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I don't deserve a penis
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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