Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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