He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
