we're blogging at a bar
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
