just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
