Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
