i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he thought i was a dude.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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