Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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