It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
