got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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