White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
