Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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