we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
