I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
