One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
