Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
