Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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