it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
