Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
