I hate all girls vehemently.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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