ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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