I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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