absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
