Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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