apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
