I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
