Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
