I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
