I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
then he tried to convert me to islam
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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