weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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