Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize