ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
