He is an equal opportunity slut.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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