he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
