doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
