Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
