i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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