So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
