The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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