Where is the hickey?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
false alarm, still single
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
