i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
