I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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