so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
