Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
